Monday, September 11, 2006

The Questionable Loot

As you know, Invisible Friends, I crave attention on a daily basis. Luckily (or not so luckily) my poor husband finds himself to be the recipient of all my hyped up energy. I pour out feelings, random thoughts and ponderings in the matter of fifteen minutes. Then he crawls away to his office as though he is trying to escape. It doesn't work. I lay on the floor, kick his chair, and mew plaintively until he pays attention to me. I am entertained. I'm not sure he is.

Meanwhile, my birthday is coming up. When I was younger, I would try really hard to stretch my birthday out for a week. The longer I could stretch it out, the happier I was. My poor parents lovingly indulged me.

But now it's gotten to a point where I don't know what I want. Having become used to the dreaded budget, I now find myself denying myself things because I don't need them. Or I don't want to junk up the house. The only vice I have is clothes, and my dear mother has offered to take care of that for me with another shopping trip after the delightful one last weekend. Yes, I am spoiled.

After spending a lifetime buying just because I could or being given gifts because my parents were so generous, it's almost as if I have achieved an inner peace about it. While I still love and adore presents, I can't seem to really request any myself. Where before I could list out dozens of things, now I'm comfortable with what I have. Sure, there's things I'd like to get: new chairs, some curtains for the living room and a painting for the side wall, but those will come in time. I could get some more scrapbook supplies, but I feel wasteful. Ben offered to buy me some new jewelry, but I feel that's excessive.

Before, I sought fuffillment through things, through fads. It seems now that I have my friends, my family, my husband- I'm not seeking much more. I want time and companionship more than anything. And maybe new clothes. And new bras. And a new painting for the side wall.

I guess overall, all I really want is time. And lots of pictures to put in the scrapbook so I can look back and smile.

But I still wouldn't mind the clothes. Or bras. Or painting for the wall. And the cute little My Little Pony decorations I will drape the house in. Who can resist pink and purple horses?

Ok, fine. Maybe I do want crap and I just have no idea what to get. Any ideas?