Monday, September 18, 2006

My J-O-B

Today I was initiated into the world of childcare. With my elbow sporting a golf sized bump that had apparently grown in the night and my knee sporting a similar bump, I waltzed into the Center de Chaos. Like my fabled River of Crap, which flows from room to room so you can always tell where I've been, chaos flows in my path. Our house is often chaotic- Ben manages to cut or maim himself, people run in and out, and I perpetually lose things or forget things on the stove. Why do I want to add a puppy to this madness? Because it'd make it more fun. I've now added a pot bellied pig to my list of things to get. If my dad ends up getting the miniature horse he's been wanting forever, we'll have our own little farm. It'll be grand. Moving on.

From 10-6:15, I learned all about being a "recreational counselor". After two hours of job forms and being read to from the employee handbook, I was taught to drive the van. To my surprise, it is still intact. It doesn't even have a scratch on it. Yet.

Afterwards, I was escorted to one of the rooms to watch bad 80's childcare videos that essentially told me not to let a child stick a nail in their eye and that puberty is rough. Ok, check. Then I was told to not let kids play around sharp, pointy objects or head straight for the cement. Check. After the van run, I was shown "hw" time, which equated to a hundred squirmy children on cafeteria tables blowing spit bubbles and doodling on poorly copied handouts. The girl I was shadowing told me the same thing everyone had told me five times as I sat watching a boy eat a crayon. He was very neat about it, peeling off the wrapper delicately as he gently chewed the green wax. He felt me staring and looked up with a green grin. I decided to ignore it- he wasn't my responsibility yet. At least it wasn't glue.

Later, after surprivising the fifth graders who looked greasy and tired, I decided I would assign the children random numbers instead of names. There was no way I could remember 100 children's names. 1) They moved way too fast, 2) Several demanded to know who I was loudly, and when asked their name in return either mumbled into their shoulder or told me Spiderman 3) Generally looked the same. The only ones I remembered were the three annoying girls who decided to play tag around me. I was not pleased.

exhausted, I drove home to fix dinner and work on freelancing stuff. Luckily tomorrow I don't work till 2- so freelancing in the morning and lunch w/ Ben! Then Wed, Thrus and Friday is all freelancing in the morning. Hooray.

I'm not sure what to expect on my return tomorrow. I'm wondering it the turret's child will go off in the van. This could be interesting.