Saturday, October 14, 2006

A Very Important Debate

"What should I be for Halloween?" I asked to no one particular last night while we watched the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader show on CMT.

"You should be Leela, and I'll be Fry!" Ben said. I looked thoughtful. While I loved Futurama, I wasn't so sure dying my hair purple was the key. Besides, I wear black dance pants all the time- there was nothing different about that.

"I know!" I grinned. "We can be Tim McGraw and Faith Hill." As I grinned happily, Ben looked at me like I'd grown three heads.

"Gumby and Pokey," Dave suggested.

"A Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader," Karen suggested.

Bryan looked stumped.

I was not pleased with any of those suggestions. Though it would be fun to jump around in a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader outfit, I didn't feel like scaring small children with my boobies. Besides, my butt is not a cheerleader butt. Cheerleader butts are high, tight, round and protrude gently like a bubble. My butt does not do that. It sticks out a bit and is flat. I have a phonebook butt.

"I don't like any of those," I said, looking disturbed. I had to figure out what I wanted to be for Halloween. One of the most important features of the night was what I would look like. This would take days and days- ok fine- minutes and minutes of planning.

"Hey- you could borrow Karen's stripper dress again," Ben grinned devilish. "You know, the fishnet one-"

"I've worn that to the symphony!" Karen squawked. "Symphony of strippers," Ben teased.

Absorbed in my own world, I spent the rest of the night and morning thinking. And then it came to me.

Elle Woods.

I should be Elle Woods. The perky, blonde, ever happy and ultimately cute lawyer who dressed in head to toe pink. My alter-ego and secret dream! Why had I not thought of this before?

After a secret convention of costume planning, Karen and I emerged victorious. Clad in a pepto bismal pink halter dress and rhinestone sparkling pink shoes, I was perfect. All I would need is my hair curled, Bryan's dog to pose as bruiser, and a pink purse. I'll cover my pumpkin in pink glitter and have the sparkliest pumpkin on the block.

Those ghosts and gremlins aren't going to know what hit them.