Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Adventures in the Car

We drove back from Shreveport yesterday. Seven hours in the car for most couples would be absolute hell. The wife would begin to whine about how the husband never pays attention and doesn't communicate, the husband whines the wife is a nag. By hour five, they both sit in silence, furious with each other. Once home, they slam doors on opposite sides of the house.

However, that is not how the Blonde Duck and Ben act.

After a lively debate over why I continue to wear makeup, I fed him McDonalds as he drove. It was hard not to giggle when he tried to catch wayward fries with his jaw like a English bulldog.

Drained from arguing, I sat in the warm sun with the air conditioner blasting on my face. It was hard not to drift off. I kept catching myself right before my head slammed into the window.

I began to edit my book for an hour or two. Now I had the problem of Ben cackling at me while I tried not to drift off. After my forehead hit the top of my pen, I decided I had a bit of a problem.

Though I managed to stay awake somehow, the rest of the trip went like this:

"Coooooooooooooouuuuuuuwwwwwwssss!" I would shout.

"Did you fart?"

"Horsies!"

"Oh my God, you farted didn't you?"

"Look there's a llama!"

"Miranda, that's horrible. That smells like death."

"Did you know llamas spit?"

"Why don't you just go to sleep? You look like you're dying. Just close your eyes and take a nap."

"No."

"Chickens!"

"Where?"

"Why won't you take a nap?"

"I want to be tired so I can go to bed early and get up for my job. There's some ducks!"

"I'm hungry."

"Again?"

"Seriously, you farted again didn't you?"

The adventures continued through Austin, where we were treated with dinner by my parents. When we finally reached home, a giant mummy on the neighbors yard welcomed us. Though most people think we're nuts, I do enjoy our adventures in the car.

Stay tuned for the Blonde Duck's Trip to a Southren Boutique!