Sunday, June 08, 2008

A surprise package, a cheer-up e-mail and sitting in the kitchen



This weekend, while all my actions spoke of joy and frivolity, my weird and obsessive mind was churning and churning. For those Invisible Friends who do not know, I'm really weird. I'm high strung and dwell on things, particularly concepts or actions that can not be changed or I have no control over, for hours.

And I don't talk about it much here because that's whining, and as much as my father may disagree, I don't like whining in public. I think it's tacky. (He's probably fallen over by now.)

As you probably suspect, I'm obsessed with getting published. It dominates my thoughts, directs my actions and was, I feared, beginning to direct my writing. Instead of just flying through a story, my brain began to try to predict what agents or editors I never met would like. It started to dominate which stories I wrote and how I wrote them. Every rejection letter became a personal blow rather than a shrug and, "I'll try the next one!" The blind optimism I had at the beginning of this adventure was turning into bitter, cynical and jaded actions.


I became trapped in a vicious cycle of riding high creativity and optimism, spinning into self-doubt and then falling into a low of believing I was a terrible writer that didn't know plot, couldn't write at all and would never achieve my dreams. Then I'd spend days looking up stories on the Internet and plotting other options to take the publishing world by storms. Repeat. All weekend, my brain churned. Even at my parents' house, where my dear mother and sister gave up their Saturday to sit in a kitchen with my dogs, my brain churned.


Then, I got a package.






It was from my dear friend Marie! She had sent me a lovely e-mail cheering me up and then this fabulous package that contained:




A cookbook for 2 (It's from England and says 4 pounds on the back instead of dollars! How cool is that?),





A print she had done of a little girl and ducks.









And a print of a little girl and the chicken! My favorite! (To see more of her prints, visit her blog in my links. A Year From Oak Cottage. She's got an Etsy store that is full of fabulous prints.)


Then Emma sent me an e-mail that cemented my self-confidence and happiness. Between these two ladies, my blue mood was cured!

So Marie, I want to thank you for cheering me up on a day that I needed it most. Your unwavering enthusiasm and support for my writing has really helped me during my endless cycle of self-pity

And Emma, I want to thank you for reading the dozens of pages I send you every week and for always supporting and encouraging me. You don't know how happy I am when I see your e-mails in my in-box!



Of course, I have to thank Ben for putting up with me. It's not easy.

And I have to thank my Mom and sister for taking such good care of the puppies while I dance around the living room and gaze at "Transformers."


If my Dad is still conscious, I have to thank him for letting the dogs in his house. He made my grandmother sit outside in 100 degree heat when she brought it down when he and my mom were first married, so you know what that means....



He can't resist these two little faces.

5 comments:

Marie said...

Miranda, I have moments of self doubting sometimes myself, but I always end up telling myself that I am the best me I can be and that just HAS to be good enough. I truly do believe in your talent my dear, it's only a matter of time and I hope that when it happens for you, you remember me!! I can't wait to say "I knew you when!" Oh, I do love the babies. I could happily put up with them for hours and hours on end! I think they're adorable. I am so glad you like the book. I thought it was perfect for just you two!

Emma Sanders said...

LOL, I'm happy to cheer you up. Uh, you might not want to read my next email, though. It's not so cheerful...

Mom said...

Well, I can promise you that Dani and I really enjoyed having you, Ben, and the pups up for the day and we are looking forward to seeing you all again on Saturday. We will cook up some chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes for Fathers Day.

Marie said...

mmmmm . .. chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes...That is my kind of food. I want a good chicken fried steak recipe!

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