Wednesday, June 04, 2008

The GLUG goes Swimming

"HELLLO!" A familiar voice bellowed from the vicinity of my toes. I looked down to see the GLUG swimming in the dogs' water dish.

"Hello," I said warily. "What are you doing?"

"Swimming, duh!" he bellowed, giggling. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Well, it looks like"--

"It's summer!" the GLUG announced. "Do you know what that means?"

"It's hot?" I suggested.

"I'm hot!" the GLUG bellowed. "The summer is the best time for a GLUG! The sun's a blazing, kids are out of school and everyone is looking for fun. And what could be more fun than a Ginormous Lime Green Unusual Gnat?"

"That's true," I agreed, trying not to smile.

"You know, you really need to work on your hospitality," the GLUG said, shaking his tiny green fist at me. "There are no Noodles or inner tubes in this pool. And where is the cabana? I want a hamburger and a petal margarita. And what's this brown crap at the bottom of the pool?"

"That would be dog kibble crumbs," I said.

"DOG KIBBLE CRUMBS?" the GLUG shouted. "Disgusting! What kind of pool is this?"

"A dog's water dish," I said. The GLUG glanced up to see two black noses sniffing right over his head.

"Excuse me!" he shouted. "Excuse me! This is a no sniffing zone."

Bear stuck his nose into the water and the GLUG yelped, bobbing helplessly. "What is wrong with you, vile creature!" he screeched. "Can you not see I'm swimming here? Go wash your foul nose somewhere else?"

He had barely scrambled onto the edge of the water bowl before Bitty's pink tongue began to lick eagerly.

"Oh no! Excuseee me!" Shaking the water droplets off his wings, he flew up to the counter and put his hands on his hips. I was too busy laughing to pay much attention.

"Next time, floaties and slobber free water," he demanded. "I'm a GLUG. The only GLUG! I don't swim in dog dishes."

"You just did," I reminded him. The babies looked up at the tiny green insect, wagging their tails hopefully. For once, the GLUG couldn't say a word.

But he never did go swimming again.