Friday, January 04, 2008

The GLUG interviews the Blonde Duck

Yesterday, my friend Emma from her blog (see list on right) offered to interview me on her blog. I was ecstatic! Not only did an Invisible Friend recognize I existed, but she wanted to show me off to the world. I was thrilled. I was delighted. I was terrified.

Luckily for me, the GLUG has been nagging for his own daytime talk show for awhile. He feels that the Pond is sadly lacking in celebrities and that he is the perfect candidate. So I agreed to let him interview me as a trial run for Emma's interview. The disastrous results will make you shudder, giggle and pee your pants with laughter. Don't say I didn't warn you!

The GLUG: HELLLO!! How are you?

The Blonde Duck: Are you going to shout the whole time?

The GLUG: I'm not shouting, I'm talking. Besides you can't argue with me. I'm the star.

The Blonde Duck: Right.

The GLUG: (staring at a computer screen and pretending it's a camera monitor.) HELLO WORLD! Today we're interviewing the industrious Blonde Duck who is known for her.....er....what are you known for?

The Blonde Duck (annoyed): My blog. And my short stories. And my published magazine pieces and newspaper features.

The GLUG: Yes, but what about your book?

The Blonde Duck: Which book?

The GLUG: The published one. The one people would know about.

The Blonde Duck (through gritted teeth): I haven't found a publisher yet.

The GLUG (smiles knowingly): Sure you haven't. So tell me what you write.

The Blonde Duck: I write humorous women's fiction and children's fiction.

The GLUG: And what is that?

The Blonde Duck: It's fun, whimsical stories about everything from people to animals. I talk about maniacal brides, talking dogs, shouting green bugs....

The GLUG: Can I read it anywhere?

The Blonde Duck: On the blog. And I'll have a Web site soon.

The GLUG: Right. You know what I realized?

The Blonde Duck: What?

The GLUG: You're very boring.

The Blonde Duck: I'm not boring!

The GLUG: You are too! You're not shaving your head or on crack or anything interesting! Boring!

The Blonde Duck: Well you're not either! That makes you boring too.

The GLUG: I can't be boring.

The Blonde Duck: And why not?

The GLUG: Because I'm the Ginormous Lime Green Unusual Gnat! I'm the most interesting thing around.

The Blonde Duck: I wish I would have never created you.

The GLUG: I'm going to go interview Libby. She's much more exciting.

The Blonde Duck: How am I not exciting? I've got ducks living in my bath tub, flying pigs in my yard and I dance constantly. I have a peanut butter addiction! Does that do it for you?

The GLUG: Yes, but Libby's fabulous. She always has cute shoes. You wear the same shoes every day. They're not green. I need someone with green shoes.

The Blonde Duck: Libby doesn't wear green shoes either!

The GLUG: Well, I'm colorblind. (Stares at the monitor) Stay tuned after the commercial break! We're going to interview the fabulous Libby about where she gets her shoes.

The Blonde Duck (huffing): Stupid bug.

The GLUG: That's GLUG to you!

Hopefully, my next interview will go much better. Stay tuned!

4 comments:

Lib-ulous said...

That GLUG is one crazy character! If I'm that fabulous then that would make you fabulous by association (which you are!) Besides, green shoes are sooo last season! And congratulations on your interview!

Emma Sanders said...

ROFL! What a great interview. I'll try to be just as exciting with my questions, though not near as...well, glugly.

Mama K said...

Talk about an attitude! I suppose he will fit in with most Hollywood scenes...if HE ever makes it there. Besides, as they say. "If it smells, it sells!"

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