Sunday, July 22, 2007

The Duck-a-tron

I saw Transformers yesterday with my Mom and sister for a belated birthday celebration for my Mom. Going into the movie, I figured it'd be mildly amusing. After all, I am a My Little Ponies enthusiast. Why would I like robots? After all, I didn't like I, Robot and spent weeks fearing Steve Jobs or Bill Gates were going to create a robot for every home that would take over just like the ones in the movie and turn us into mindless drones, taking down society and ruling in a technological dictatorship.

I never said I wasn't imaginative.

Anyway, I loved the Transformers movies, particularly the Bumblebee transformer. He was so cute and devoted to the boy. While I still don't like the idea of robots taking over the Earth, I decided I needed my own Transformer: the Duck-a-tron.

The Duck-a-tron would be a giant (you guessed it) Duck robot. When not a robot, he would be an aquatic car--one of those cars that is also a boat. He would be painted a bright yellow with an orange face, and have webbed metal feet. When he quacked, the sound waves from his quack would shake the earth around him. If he ever got mad at another Transformer, he could kick them with his giant webbed feet or fly away.

If I had a Duck-a-tron, life would be glorious. I wouldn't have to sit through an hour and a half of traffic just to get home from work. My Duck-a-tron could take me home in ten short steps.

If I had a Duck-a-tron, he could fly Ben and I to my in-laws house and anywhere in the world we wanted to go. Cruise? What cruise? We'll just cruise in the Duck-a-tron.

If I had a Duck-a-tron, he could go on walks with me around the neighborhood or while I was jogging. Seriously, who's going to mess with me with several hundred feet of robot?

If I had a Duck-a-tron, I could go waterskiing behind him on the lake.

If I had a Duck-a-tron, I could go to the pond within the Pond and have him communicate with the ducks there. It would be hilarious.

And finally, if I had a Duck-a-tron, maybe he could build a pond for the ducks living in my bathtub.

I really want a Duck-a-tron.