Friday, August 17, 2007

Work Conversations 2

The fun continues at The Pond at work..... For clarification purposes, my paranoid-about-people-knowing-her-nickname-online friend, "Spaz" often characterizes herself as a big fluffy cat. I, as a blond lunatic who characterizes herself as a blond duck, characterizes herself as a Chihuahua who wears a big pink bow, known as the pink Chihuahua in many conversations. Confused yet? You should be. Enjoy, Invisible Friends!

The Blonde Duck (9:30 a.m.) : The pink-bow Chihuahua growls.

Spaz (9:36 a.m.) : The fluffy cat sighs in French and lays her head on her paws. “Le sigh”.

The Blonde Duck (9:44 a.m.) : The pink-bowed Chihuahua looks longingly at the open door and plots her escape.

Spaz (9:46 a.m.) : The fluffy black cat turns over in her sleep, not knowing of her chihuahua friend’s plan.

The Blonde Duck (9:51 a.m.) : The pink-bowed Chihuahua wiggles in excitement. She begins to bounce up and down on her friend like a trampoline. Her plans of escape momentarily forgotten, she bellows, “I have an article you need to read!” (includes link to article in E-mail.)

Spaz (2:58 p.m.) : The pink chihuahua sniffed at the strange object that lay before her. “I don’t think I like this,” she thought to herself. She pushed the thing with her tiny pink nose and sniffed at it again as it made a horrible twang and screeching noise. She barked angrily as the sharp twang pierced through her ears and rattled the tiny bell on her collar.
“It’s a violin,” mewed the fluffy black cat as she turned about on her sill. “A violin?” asked the Chihuahua, “I don’t like violins.”

The Blonde Duck (3:05 p.m.) : “In fact,” the pink Chihuahua announced as she kicked away the offending musical instrument with her back feet, “I don’t like anything new or different. And I really don’t like new people.” She growled at the new dogs that sat in other other cages. The fluffy cat rolled her eyes and stretched lazily. “Try to talk to them. You might like them.” The pink Chihuahua sighed and drug herself over to the cage holding the prim greyhound. She would do anything for her feline friend. “Do you like pink?” she asked the greyhound hopefully, desperate for some kind of common thread. She really wanted to get along with people, deep in her tiny Chihuahua heart. She couldn’t help that most of the people she meant were rude idiots.

“No,” the greyhound sniffed. “I prefer Chardonnay and reading Tolstoy.” The pink Chihuahua growled and barked loudly. “Pretentious puppy!” she shouted angrily. She haughtily pranced back to her fluffy friend, who was basking in the sunlight delicately munching on some cheese. “I don’t like her,” she growled. “I noticed,” the fluffy cat said in an amused tone. The pink Chihuahua’s dislike only grew as several other dogs lumbered over to assist the greyhound with a problem in her cage. Her tiny ears slicked back and she barred her tiny sharp teeth. “I really don’t like her,” she growled to her friend. “ I noticed,” the fluffy cat replied.

Spaz (3:15 p.m.) :“Here,” the cat stretched out her paw with a chunk of cheese. The pink chihuahua rushed over to the morsel and sniffed it before quickly snatching it with her tiny teeth. “You shouldn’t tryyyyy so hard,” she purred as she stretched across her sill, “you should just relaaaaaaax and let things come naturally.” “What do you mean?” asked the chihuahua who’s mouth was now full of cheese and drool, “I AM relaxed!” “Of course you are,” yawned the cat, “of course you are.”

The Blonde Duck (3:27 p.m.) : As the fluffy cat began to doze on the sun-warmed windowsill, the pink Chihuahua decided that now would be the perfect time to try and bake a pie. She had always wanted to bake a pie, and why not now? Work was so trivial and dull. There were much more exciting things in life to be done! She began to investigate the refrigerator. She would open the door, select a Tupperware dish, run to the windowsill where she would deposit it in front of the sleeping fluffy cat. “Guard this,” she ordered bossily.

On and on, she ran from the refrigerator to the windowsill, selecting her key pie ingredients. When she dropped the final dish on the floor, she gasped in alarm. All the Tupperware had been opened and the contents had either obviously been nibbled on or were gone completely.

“What--?” she cried out. The fluffy cat merely licked her face and burped. Smiling sheepishly, she shrugged. “Yum?”

Spaz (3:33 p.m.) : “Will you bring out some milk next?” the cat asked. “All of your treats have left me quite thirsty."

The Blonde Duck (3:45 p.m.) : Grumbling, the pink Chihuahua pranced off to the fridge and brought back a bowl full of milk, leaving a white trail of droplets behind her. She placed it on ground with her teeth with a loud thump! Milk sloshed over the edge of the bowl and splashed onto the cat’s paws. When the pink Chihuahua saw the fluffy cat’s horrified expression as she desperately tried to clean her paws, she laughed. “ I never said I was graceful,” the pink Chihuahua grinned.