The Other Pond

At another pond, far away from the Land of the Flowered Bed, a turtle sat on a rock, sunning himself on the crisp spring day.

"Who is that?" a doe asked her mother.

"That is the Turtle Guru," the deer answered. "Ducks, geese, squirrels and animals from all around come to ask his advice. He is the wisest turtle in the land."

"Wow," the doe said. "Why is he so wise?"

"I'm not really sure," the deer answered. "They say that he was a normal turtle. Then one day, he suddenly realized all the answers to every question imaginable. They say it was like lightening hit him. From then on, he was the Turtle Guru."

The doe was dutifully impressed. As her mother continued to munch on leaves, the doe crept down to the shores of the pond to hear what was going on.

Three ducks were protesting loudly, swimming in circles and flapping their wings gently. The commotion was over a piece of bread in the water, and the three ducks were literally banging their heads together in attempt to get the bread.

"Mineminemineminemineminemine!" one duck cried, taking a chunk out of the bread.

"Mineminemineminemineminemineminemine," another duck cried, taking a chunk out of the bread.

The third duck, a female, quacked delicately. "Mine," she said simply, sneaking a large bite.

"Mine," a deep voice said, as a catfish surfaced and swallowed the remaining bread. The ducks looked at each other in shock.

"Ruderuderuderuderuderude!" one duck shouted, swimming after him.

"Get him get him get him!" the second duck squalled, pecking the water violently.

The female just sighed and shook her head. "I really wish they would have gone to college," she muttered, looking at her sons in affectionate exasperation.

The ducks stopped in front of the turtle, indignantly flapping and quacking.

"Turtle Guru," one duck whined, "That bread was mine. Minemineminemineminemine."

"No, it was mine," the other duck complained. "Minemineminemineminemine."

"They don't own a piece of bread," the catfish said disdainfully. "It was mine."

"Tell us who is wrong," the first duck whined.

"Yea, tell the catfish he has to give us some more bread," the second duck complained.

"Like I have a bread machine underwater," the catfish rolled his eyes.

"Mine!" the first duck retorted. Then they all sat and watched the Turtle Guru impatiently.

The Turtle Guru opened his eyes and surveyed the three critters.

"The bread belonged to no one," he said simply. "Whoever got there first was in possession of the bread."

"I got there first!" the first duck crowed. "Minemineminemine!"

"No, I did!" the second duck argued. "Mineminemineminemine!"

"Rather than worrying about who owned the bread, why not find some new bread?" the Turtle Guru suggested. "Like over there?" The Turtle Guru gestured to the end of the pond with a stubbly arm, where a little girl sat throwing bread into the water.

The ducks looked at each other and took off swimming.

"Mineminemineminemine!" they both cried, racing for the edge.

The Turtle Guru smiled and went back to sunning himself. The doe scampered over to her mother.

"Mom?" she asked. "The Turtle Guru doesn't seem that wise. He just seems to have common sense."

"My dear," her mother said, swallowing a mouthful of leaves, "Sometimes that's all wisdom is."

Have a question for the Turtle Guru? Leave a comment for the Blonde Duck, and she'll pass on all questions to the Guru!