Tuesday, April 03, 2007

The Other Pond

At another pond, far away from the Land of the Flowered Bed, a turtle sat on a rock, sunning himself on the crisp spring day.

"Who is that?" a doe asked her mother.

"That is the Turtle Guru," the deer answered. "Ducks, geese, squirrels and animals from all around come to ask his advice. He is the wisest turtle in the land."

"Wow," the doe said. "Why is he so wise?"

"I'm not really sure," the deer answered. "They say that he was a normal turtle. Then one day, he suddenly realized all the answers to every question imaginable. They say it was like lightening hit him. From then on, he was the Turtle Guru."

The doe was dutifully impressed. As her mother continued to munch on leaves, the doe crept down to the shores of the pond to hear what was going on.

Three ducks were protesting loudly, swimming in circles and flapping their wings gently. The commotion was over a piece of bread in the water, and the three ducks were literally banging their heads together in attempt to get the bread.

"Mineminemineminemineminemine!" one duck cried, taking a chunk out of the bread.

"Mineminemineminemineminemineminemine," another duck cried, taking a chunk out of the bread.

The third duck, a female, quacked delicately. "Mine," she said simply, sneaking a large bite.

"Mine," a deep voice said, as a catfish surfaced and swallowed the remaining bread. The ducks looked at each other in shock.

"Ruderuderuderuderuderude!" one duck shouted, swimming after him.

"Get him get him get him!" the second duck squalled, pecking the water violently.

The female just sighed and shook her head. "I really wish they would have gone to college," she muttered, looking at her sons in affectionate exasperation.

The ducks stopped in front of the turtle, indignantly flapping and quacking.


"Turtle Guru," one duck whined, "That bread was mine. Minemineminemineminemine."

"No, it was mine," the other duck complained. "Minemineminemineminemine."

"They don't own a piece of bread," the catfish said disdainfully. "It was mine."

"Tell us who is wrong," the first duck whined.

"Yea, tell the catfish he has to give us some more bread," the second duck complained.

"Like I have a bread machine underwater," the catfish rolled his eyes.

"Mine!" the first duck retorted. Then they all sat and watched the Turtle Guru impatiently.

The Turtle Guru opened his eyes and surveyed the three critters.

"The bread belonged to no one," he said simply. "Whoever got there first was in possession of the bread."

"I got there first!" the first duck crowed. "Minemineminemine!"

"No, I did!" the second duck argued. "Mineminemineminemine!"

"Rather than worrying about who owned the bread, why not find some new bread?" the Turtle Guru suggested. "Like over there?" The Turtle Guru gestured to the end of the pond with a stubbly arm, where a little girl sat throwing bread into the water.

The ducks looked at each other and took off swimming.

"Mineminemineminemine!" they both cried, racing for the edge.

The Turtle Guru smiled and went back to sunning himself. The doe scampered over to her mother.

"Mom?" she asked. "The Turtle Guru doesn't seem that wise. He just seems to have common sense."

"My dear," her mother said, swallowing a mouthful of leaves, "Sometimes that's all wisdom is."

Have a question for the Turtle Guru? Leave a comment for the Blonde Duck, and she'll pass on all questions to the Guru!

3 comments:

Ace Koerner said...

Ace, the chihuahua from the Port city, would like to know why gnats always want to fly up his nose and get in one's eyes?? They are most annoying and it takes time away from his bird chasing, swatting gnats away from his nose.

The Blonde Duck said...

The Turtle Guru said:

Gnats are nature's pests. They are like the children in school that are always putting glue in other children's hair or wiping boogers under the desk so when you bump into them hardened snot smears on your hand. Gnats are also attracted to moisture, which they sense in animal's eyes and noses. So for the gnats, flying up Ace's nose is the best of both worlds: they can be obnoxious and find moisture!

To prevent the gnats from flying up Ace's nose, he should squirt them with a water gun. They'll be so distracted by all the moisture flying through the air their tiny heads will explode from the confusion. Then, Ace can continue his bird chasing!

Wisely yours,

The Turtle Guru

freefun0616 said...

酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店小姐兼職,
便服酒店經紀,
酒店打工經紀,
制服酒店工作,
專業酒店經紀,
合法酒店經紀,
酒店暑假打工,
酒店寒假打工,
酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店小姐兼職,
便服酒店工作,
酒店打工經紀,
制服酒店經紀,
專業酒店經紀,
合法酒店經紀,
酒店暑假打工,
酒店寒假打工,
酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店小姐兼職,
便服酒店工作,
酒店打工經紀,
制服酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,

,酒店,