Thursday, April 12, 2007

Signs

In the movie "Fools Rush In", Salma Hayek plays a woman who heavily believes in signs. Her belief rubs off on Matthew Perry, who sees "signs" everywhere when his heart wants to return to her and her head doesn't. Even though I'm not a religious nor spiritual nut job, I believe in signs.

For instance, my butterflies are a sign. Yes, I know, these are whimsical creatures who are really on a search for pollen and food and could give a damn less about my need for validation or comfort. But while part of my brain believes that, I just can't accept that. How else could a butterfly have flitted gently by in the cold winds of winter, when they should have been hibernating? Whenever I've been upset or disheartened about my frustration with getting published or work, they've always appeared, gently fluttering around me and making their presence known.

There's been other signs too. The sunshine, a flower growing next to my window, things of that nature. But every since I started my journey of life after high school, one guiding sign has been constant throughout my life. And that sign is Legally Blond.

Legally Blond was playing on the television in the college bookstore when I purchased my books. It was playing when I decided to change my major for the first time. It was playing when we got engaged, and every time had had some significant epiphany during college. It played right before I started my job. Most recently, it played when I was disheartened and discouraged after receiving two rejection letters. I was frustrated and felt like a fraud. I had worked myself into a wallow of pity, wailing that I would never get published and would always be a washed up "aspiring author."

Then, she came. Elle Wood's perky blond face stared back at me right as all the Harvard people kicked her out of their study group. If Elle Woods could face down a pack of self-righteous Yankees, I could get published, I vowed. My validation came two days later, when I decided to revise my book and streamline it to make it more marketable. She was back again, battling Callahan in the courtroom. "I can do it," I thought. "If Elle Woods can win a trial knowing about perms, I can get published."

So, I believe in signs, and I also believe in plans. After all--what good is a plan if you don't have directions to help you along the way?