Thursday, March 22, 2007

You're Still the One- March 23

I don't talk a lot about Ben in a romantic context on here because I know our parents read this blog. And even though we're married, it's not the most comfortable thing in the world to read mushy-gushy stuff from your child. So dear parents, forgive me, cause it's going to get mushy gushy.

When we were freshmen in college, Ben gave me a gift. It wasn't a large gift and it didn't have a pretty bow, but it was beautiful all the same. Ben gave me the gift of security. As we drove around in his truck on those cool spring nights, the heater warming our feet while our cheeks were cold from the whistling wind as we sang Phil Collins at the top of our lungs, I felt secure. I felt like he wouldn't dump me, pressure me or act like a normal college kid.

As we swam in the SLC, Ben would glide through the water, floating as he kicked his feet slowly. He had such a easy way about him and relaxed attitude about things. While I was swimming diligently, he floated slowly, talking to the lifeguard about the material the slide was made out of. He couldn't say I wasn't spontaneous--our late night trip to Austin with Kurt and Kevin was proof of that. Our energy was indispensable as his gas--it kept getting refilled.

My spontaneity was on the crazy and zany side. I would get an inkling to throw myself into the student fountain or set off for the local dollar theater at midnight. Ben was dragged out under the stars, dancing in front of headlights and walking in the rain. Meanwhile, Ben's spontaneity was more low key. He might jump up and go eat dinner at 4 in the afternoon or want to go to Wendy's at midnight. While my life before him had been a mix of stormy and sunny weather, it was now almost all sunshine. My wild hairs were like the brief summer shower--light enough to twirl in and long enough to soak in. It was a definite change, and I liked the mix.

The more comfortable I got, the more settled I got. I didn't throw breakfast parties at midnight after football games and hold dancing parties at 10 o'clock at night while Ben and his roommate drove by taking pictures. Comfortable and happy, I was content to sit with Ben with his arm draped over me while we watched some science show he wanted to watch.

Four years later, our life is full of more stability than surprises. Holding down full time jobs makes it harder to have midnight wal-mart runs and ping pong tournaments in our now non-existent student gym. While I miss our college years, I also cherish them greatly. Just as I now treasure our late night drives and random excursions. It amazes me how even through some of the most stress we had--graduating, moving and getting married--we're still just as strong as ever. My only wish is that our lives will continue to be sprinkled with those spontaneous, spinning-in-the-rain moments. While I love the sunshine, the rain makes it that much sweeter.
Happy 4 years darling. I can't wait till our "real" anniversary in May. I love you.