Guest Commentary

Since Ace the Dog (and Ben's parents) are down visiting for Ben's birthday, he thought he would say a few words. Here is his speech, translated and bark free:

For some reason unbeknownst to me, all my toys were packed up in a car this morning. After investigating the backseat and discovering it was bone free, I settled down for a nap. There wasn't anything to do--no dead birds to sniff, no intruders to bark at and no squirrels to chase.

When the car finally stopped, I was picked up and taken into a strange house. It was filled with all sorts of new smells and new carpet. I couldn't wait too pee and poop on it. I immediately began to tapdance on the couch and loveseat. The backyard smelled like a giant barbecue. Unfortunately, there were no dead birds in there.

Of course, the first thing I had to do was to investigate the perimeter. I made sure there were no other dogs there to compete with. After I cleared out the competition, I sniffed about for bones or ailing squirrels. Since the two trees were kind of scrawny, that eliminated that. After doing my business, I made sure to bark loudly to all the neighbors to announce my presence. I knew they had been waiting to see me. They were dutifully impressed.

After Mama K gave me a bone, I had a whole new landscape to hide it from. I went from the corner to the loveseat to the T.V. stand. I hid it in the couch cushions, but later moved it. Tell you where it is? Now that's just dumb. How dumb do you think I am!

Eventually, my servant Miranda came home. She was very excited to see me. She must have been bored during my absence. There was a bit of a crisis when the people got lost for an hour. However, my barks lead them home. It's exhausting to wrangle these people. They don't listen well.

Hold on- yup, that's food! They're fixing my favorite cereal! And they're acting like I can't even have any! These dumb humans--when will they learn who's boss?

Yours always,

Ace the Chihuahua