Monday, January 01, 2007

New Years at The Pond

Dear Invisible Friends,

Normally, I never make New Year's Resolutions. However, many of our friends at The Pond, including Henry the Lizard and other favorites, have demanded that I post their resolutions, in hopes they will actually follow them. So while you're eating black eyed peas and watching over-played footage of news and entertainment events (too much Britney Spears) over the past year, I hope you enjoy reading. Happy New Years, and here's looking forward to many more adventures in The Pond!

Yours Always,

The Blonde Duck


*** For New Invisible Friends, see previous entries to meet The Pond. Not like there are any new Invisible Friends, but I can pretend. It is after all, a world of puppy dogs and sunshine.

The Blonde Duck
"I want to get my book published and turn into a marketing frenzy!"

Ben
"Carcarcarcarcarcarfastcarfastcarfastcar..."

Pumble the Bee
"Find a way to write wheat crackers on the grocery store list. Do you know how much effort it is to climb up on that cabinet? It's like four feet off the ground? Fly up there you say? Do you know how much energy that would require? I need a nap just thinking about it."

Cookies the Owl
"Go away!"

Hairy the Hedgehog
"I would like to find a nice wooden bristle hair brush. You see, it's quite hard to pick burs and tangles from such thick fur as mine. It takes me an hour and a half to get ready in the morning!"


The Water Cooler Ants
"We would like to find a way to refine mind control techniques so the salespeople would bring more donuts and drop a few, instead of buying tacos from the sketchy taco truck that comes to the office. We like donuts."

The Argumentative Birds
"We would like to quit eating McDonald French Fries and grow fangs. If we had fangs, we could be really intimidating. Have you ever seen a bird with fangs? It's seriously scary. No, I'm not eating a French fry. I'm eating a tater tot. It's scarier, really."

The Butterflies
"We would like the nice pink bush on the patio to come back. It was quite tasty."

The Menopausal Ghost that haunts my office
"For God's sake, some one please buy me an air conditioner. It's STIFLING in here!"

The Noisy Cricket
"I'd love it if everyone left me the hell alone. Bite me!"

The Flying Pigs
"May we sample your lush green grass? It looks ever so tasty. Thanks so much."

Ace the Chihuahua
"To continue my domination of the Koerner household."

Arthur the ????
"I think I'll lay here awhile, thanks. The nice man with treats is coming soon."

Henry the Lizard
"Good God, that giant has come back! She's interrupted my winter slumber to coo and bellow things at me in some kind of weird language! At least I'm in the cement forest now. Thank God she's gone--all that shouting has given me a terrible headache."