Monday, January 29, 2007

Here kitty, kitty

There was a crisis in the Land of the Flowered Bed.

Cookies stared at what was in front of him in complete disbelief. "She's been doing this ALL day?"

"All day," Hairy confirmed, nodding his head.

"Is she not tired of it?" Cookies asked, scratching his feathered head. "Shouldn't she be over this already?"

"Apparently not," Hairy sighed. "She's convinced that this is her true self. I have no idea why. I think it's because she watched Animal Planet all morning." The seal purred in response.

"It's making me hungry," Pumble said, smacking on some toast with honey. "All that activity--it makes a person hungry. Can you imagine moving around that much?" He yawned, honey clinging to both lips. "It makes me sleepy too."

One seal flopped around, barking angrily at the other seal. He barked and clapped his fins like a scolding parent.

"I don't think she's listening," Cookies said gently. "You're just making yourself mad for no reason."

Standing in a circle, they all stared at the seal. The seal who was now wrapping her little seal head around each of their legs, purring like a cat. She pulled herself along with her short front flippers, purring and licking as though she was trying to clean herself. She bounced along, mewing loudly at everyone. Well, she tried to mew. It came out like a strangled garble, which only enraged the other seal, who began barking louder and bouncing up and down angrily.

"I know she's not a cat!" Hairy sighed. "I know she's annoying you. I know this is ridiculous. No, you're not allowed to slap her. That's against the law. What law? Well the non-slapping law. It is too real!"

Cookies stared at the mewing seal, twirling the girl's glasses in his mouth. "Do you suppose she's gone mad?" he asked, his eyes widening in excitement. "Do you think she has Mad Seal disease? We could cut open her brain and study why she's--"

The other seal exploded in a frenzy of barking and rushed to block Cookie's view of the other seal, who rubbed and purred against him. "Fine, have it your way. Deny science what rightfully belongs to it. Anyone can see she's gone perfectly mad!"

Annoyed, Cookies wondered off to look for a book to read. He was bored with the seals. Hairy stood alone, watching the one seal purr and try to saunter about while the other one hopped and barked angrily.

"Do shut up already," Pumble cried wearily, shoving another cracker in his mouth. "It's almost time for my nap and that darn seal is still carrying on!"

"He may be right," Hairy told the barking seal gently. "If you ignore her, she'll probably stop." The barking seal agreed and sadly followed Hairy to the pillows.

The seal continued to slink about the bedroom, trying to behave like a cat. When she tried to snuggle against Pumble, he shooed her away with a honey covered hand. Offended, she hopped over to Cookies, who tried to give her an X-Ray with a piece of paper and a flash light. Terrorized, she crawled over to Hairy, who gently tried to get her to talk about her feelings and what was bothering her.

Confused, the seal hopped to the kitchen in search of milk. She was sure she would enjoy the milk. After all, cats drank milk, and she was a cat wasn't she? Cats ate fish, and she enjoyed fish. The seal opened the fridge with her tail and hopped into it, knocking the milk over with her stout body. As the milk covered the floor, she happily slid over and began lapping it up with her tongue. After a few laps, she looked up and smacked her mouth. She took a few more tentative licks, than spat. She did not like the milk at all! How could she be a cat if she didn't like milk?

Even more confused, the seal slid over to the patio doors. She would lay in the sun, she thought. Cats like sun. After awhile, the seal hopped back to the room. She was hot, sweaty and covered in sour milk. Barking frantically, she hopped into the pillows looking for the other seal.

"She's back!" Hairy cried, alerting the others. Together, the seals emerged from the pillows barking.

"You're not a cat?" Hairy asked in response to their frenzied barking. "Well that's nice to know. You spilt what! Oh no! I've got to clean it up before they get back!"

"You may want a bath too," Pumble said lazily, holding his nose. "You smell."

"So I don't get to operate?" Cookies asked disappointingly, emerging from the other room with a hammer and screwdriver. "How distressing! I was almost ready."

As Hairy cleaned up the split milk, the seals took a bath in the sink and laid out in the sun to dry. The girl seal leaned her head against the boy and sighed contently. It wasn't so bad being a seal after all. Even if cats were much fuzzier.