Wednesday, August 13, 2008

While you were sleeping


The house is dark and quiet in the early hours of the morning. Ben sits at his computer, clicking and pounding the keyboard in the blue glow of his monitor.


From across the house, Bear whines.


The whining turns to whimpers.



The whimpers turn to wuffling.


The wuffling turns to into desperate shrieks and cries of loneliness.




Wuffle.



"What?" Ben hissed, rushing over to the kitchen. He reached over the baby gate and picked up Bear, careful not to disturb a sleeping Bitty. Once Bitty awoke, all hell would break loose.

Bear wuffled in reply.


Ben rolled his eyes and carried Bear back to his computer chair, setting him in his lap as he turned his attention to the moniter. Bear wuffled and flung his head over Ben's arm, staring at the floor. He sighed and whined loudly.

"What?" Ben looked down. Bear pawed at the chair and wuffled. Ben shook his head and turned back to the computer screen. A few moments later, Bear whimpered and whined and tried to launch himself off the chair. Ben caught him and Bear wuffled as his arm dug into his midsection.

"Ok, fine." Ben sat Bear on the floor. He immediately made a beeline to where the Blond Duck lay sleeping. Plopping down next to the bed, he looked up at her and wuffled.


There was no response save for a snore.


Bear pawed at the lifeless hand draped over the edge of the bed and whimpered.


The Blond Duck scowled in her sleep and rolled over. Ben, trying not to giggle, reached down and dropped Bear onto the Blond Duck's face. Overjoyed at being within licking distance of her nose, Bear proceeded to cover the Blond Duck with kisses.

"Go away!" The Blond Duck snarled, flinging her hands over her head. "Ben, stop it! I'm trying to sleep!"


Bear cocked his head and stuck his tongue up her nose. The Blond Duck roared and flopped over, shoving her head under a pillow.



I'll just lay here awhile. Maybe she'll stop snoring soon.


Wuffling to himself, Bear laid down next to the Blond Duck's stomach and cleaned his paws. Ben, who was nearly hysterical as he tried to hold in his giggles, poked the Blond Duck.



"Miranda, there's a puppy in here for you!" The Blond Duck's sleeping face burst into a smile. She rolled over with her arms outstretched, crushing Bear as she pawed for the puppy in her dreams. Ben scooped a wufffling Bear out from under her stomach and retreated from the room as she began to snore again.



This morning, as I got ready for work, Ben said, "Bear was crying last night."




"Is he ok?" I asked, immediately racing for the kitchen.



"He's fine," Ben continued as he followed me. "I let him in the bed with you last night and you nearly crushed him."


"I what?" I stared at him.



"He was licking your face and you were flailing around and snapping and snarling at him," Ben said, clearly enjoying my foul mood at night.



"What was I doing?" I asked. I never said I was intelligent in the mornings.



"Sleeping," Ben replied.



"I never woke up?" I asked.



Ben shook his head gleefully.


I just wanted to snuggle. And wuffle.





So Invisible Friends, I have a warning for you: If you ever catch me sleeping, do not lick my nose or offer me a puppy. I can't guarantee the outcome.


And I obviously won't be able to hear your wuffles of distress.


And yes. This is a true story.

11 comments:

kellypea said...

Dog sticks nose in nostril. Ewww...Worse than a lick on the mouth. I'm trying to wipe my nose off over here. But he's pretty cute!

Thankfully, our dog cannot get on our bed. She's too old, and it's too high. We'd all have fleas!

Chad Aaron Sayban said...

Hilarious! So does this mean that there is one more sleeping in the doghouse tonight?

Mom said...

I can't believe you didn't wake up when he stuck his tongue up your nose. I wish I could sleep that good.

noble pig said...

When you have kids those dogs are going to revolt at the lack of attention they will get then....watch out!

Mama K said...

All I keep thinking of is the time you and Ben were here visiting and Ace slept with ya'll. Ben swears you rolled over on top of Ace and STAYED there. Only when Ben felt Ace kicking him in his ribs did he realize that Ace was trapped and YOU were dead to the world! Ben rescued Ace "just in the nick of time". This Bear story and the Ace story bring a wide grin to my face everytime I think of them. Girl - when you sleep....YOU SLEEP!!!!

Prudy said...

So funny! No pets in the house over here for just such reasons.

Bunny said...

I don't know, I think I'd rather have a tongue in the nose than one in my mouth, that always reminds me of the Charlie Brown cartoon when Lucy would say "Dog germs and go running!! LOL!! eeewwwww!!!

Marie said...

LOL! I wish I could sleep that heavily Duckie! I always wake up at the least little noise...poor Bear... You will have to get Ben back though . . . I'll put my thinking cap on!

Grace said...

question--how do you resist not constantly picking up your pups and squeezing them? good gracious, they're adorable.

learn chinese said...

So funny!
http://www.chinesepal.cn/first/learn-chinese/index.htm

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