Friday, August 22, 2008

Miss Pickles defeats the terrible Ms. Guenther

"What do you say?" Miss Pickles repeated, looking at the bewildered students. "Are you ready to go?"

One little girl raised her hand. "What can we do?" she asked hesitantly.

"On an adventure?" Miss Pickles spun around, whirling her arms out like she was going to lift right off the grimy tile floor. "We can go anywhere! We can do anything!"

"But what about our reading?" Beatrice Tucker asked in a sensible tone. "And our math and our history? We have a paper in geology due Friday." The hopeful smiles on the students' faces deflated and they slumped in their seats. Curse Beatrice for reminding Miss Pickles about work. Mason cradled his head and felt tears come to his eyes. He had been dreaming about this adventure for so long, and Beatrice had ruined it in one breath.

Miss Pickles raised a eyebrow and waited for the disgruntled mumbling to die down. "What about it?" she said, shrugging. "It'll still be here when we get back, won't it?"

"But"--Beatrice sputtered, her eyes wide. "But, we have homework! We have to study! We have a test Monday on fractions!"

"If you want to know fractions, eat a pie," Miss Pickles said dismissively. "If you want Beatrice, you may stay here and study. The rest of us are going on an adventure. Come on duckies! Let's go!" She skipped out the door, grabbing her tiny bag and a inner tube as she sang Christmas carols down the hall. It was the middle of September.

"Dashing through the snow, in a one horse open sleigh," she sang as the class hurried after her, tripping as they dragged heavy backpacks and everything from umbrellas to stick horses behind them. Even Beatrice tagged along, dragging her books with her. "Over the fields we go, laughing all the way!"

"Bells on bobtails ring," Mason continued, feeling bold as he sang in a loud clear voice through the hall. Ralph looked at him with wide eyes, but he just grinned and kept singing. "Making spirits bright..."

"What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight!" Don finished, his cheeks pink as everyone looked at him in astonishment. The class laughed and cheered, freedom zinging through them as they hurried down the hall.

"That's right duckies, sing!" Miss Pickles cheered, leaping and pirouetting past the cafeteria and gym.

"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way," the class sang as they tumbled and ran down the main hallway. "Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh!"

"MISS PICKLES!" A shrill voice sent a chill snaking down Mason's spine. The entire parade screeched to a halt as Ms. Gunther glared at them.

"We're doomed," Ralph muttered, wiggling his fingers inside the box containing the coconut creme pie.

"I better call my dad," Don whispered, digging in his pockets for his cell phone. "We may need legal counsel."

"Miss Pickles!" Ms. Gunther snapped. "What do you think you're doing?"

"What are you doing?" Miss Pickles countered. The class gaped. Miss Pickles was as unflustered as if they were discussing the weather. She simply smiled at Ms. Guenther and patted her frizzy blond hair.

"Doesn't she know what she's doing?" Don hissed. "She could get killed!"

"Right," Ralph said, munching on a chunk of pie crust. Whipped cream dribbled off his lip as he spoke. "She's so scary even Mr. Bumble is afraid of her."

Mason turned his attention back to Miss Pickles and Ms. Guenther, who was lecturing Miss Pickles about allowing the students to run wild through the halls.

"And singing! How could you let them sing?" Ms. Guenther hissed. "Do you know how disruptive that is?"

"It's not disruptive," Miss Pickles said, wiggling her rain boots across the floor so they squeaked. "It's fun."

Ms. Guenther gasped and shook her head. "Principal Bumble!" she screeched, waving over the ancient principal. All the students groaned. They were doomed now. They would never have an adventure. Miss Pickles would be fired and they'd be forced to deal with one substitute after the other.

"Yes?" Mr. Bumble smiled and tottered over to them. A kind man, he had only three white strands of hair on his entire head, but an entire bushel sticking out of each ear. He wore purple suspenders dotted with stars and khaki pants that came up to his chest. It was rumored he had been principal since the school began.

The school was 100 years old.

"This teacher was skipping through the hall letting her students sing Christmas carols at the top of her lungs!" Ms. Guenther snipped, pointing at Miss Pickles, who beamed. "Instruct her to go back to her room at once. This is absurd and a complete waste of classroom time."

"Christmas carols?" Mr. Bumble beamed. "I love Christmas carols! Is it Christmas already? It seems school already started. Is it Christmas break yet?"

"It's holiday break and it's barely September!" Ms. Guenther roared. "Mr. Bumble, do be serious!"

"What were you doing, then?" Mr. Bumble asked Miss Pickles. He sounded terribly depressed it wasn't Christmas.

"We were having an adventure," Miss Pickles said. Mason groaned and smacked his forehead. They were definitely doomed.

"An adventure?" Mr. Bumble blinked and twirled the hair spewing from his ears. "Lovely. Have a great time." With a big smile, he wondered off to his office mumbling about finding peppermint and cocoa.

"You heard him, duckies!" Miss Pickles cried with a grin. "Onward, ho!" The class gasped and scurried after her, whispering in excitement as they barreled out the front doors.

"This is terrible!" Ms. Guenther shouted after them, pounding her fists against the front windows. "I'll stop this silliness! See if I don't! You've been warned, Miss Pickles!" Mason twisted back and saw her wrinkled face twisted into a scowl, her thin grey hair twisted into a severe bun.

Then he laughed and ran after Miss Pickles. After all, who needed Ms. Guenther? The sun was shining, the wind was warm and there was the scent of a adventure in the air.

9 comments:

Marjie said...

Is this the kind of teacher you always wanted? I'm becoming addicted to Miss Pickles....

Chad Aaron Sayban said...

I'm not certain that I ever had a Miss Pickles when I was in school, but I certainly remember more than a few Ms. Guenther's. Get her, Miss Pickles...get her!!

jenjen said...

I love Miss Pickles! I wish I had had a teacher like her when I was in school. I can't wait to see what she does next! Thanks for the wonderful escape from reality for a few minutes!

Sea Dream Studio said...

Thanks so much for kind comments on my blog. Yes, I do make blog banners, etc, so please drop me a line if you are interested.
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noble pig said...

Ha! My oldest son said, Oh yeah fractions I forgot I need to study my fractions and ran off with a pad of paper...oh well, that's good!

Loved this installment.

Marie said...

Miranda, I Must say this is your best story yet. I am absolutely adoring it. All the characters are loveable and so full of life, even that dreadful woman, Ms what's her name! The selfish part of me wants, and indeed is begging to read the next installment, but the friend in me who wants nothing but the best for you wonders if you should save this for a publisher, and worries that by already putting it out there you are jeaporidizing it's future as a best selling children's book! I see great potential here for a children's television show as well. Call me the party pooper. I want more of course, but I also want MORE for you! ((((hugs))))

Lore said...

I don't even need a weekend breakfast, your stories are my breakfast :) I simple love how you described Mr. Bumble! It was difficult for me to understand fractions until my mom made an analogy with an apple's slices but I'm sure pie would've worked too ;)

Bunny said...

Oh yes this is getting exciting !!

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