Monday, May 14, 2007

The SMUG

"What's a SMUG?" Ben asked again to the silent air. Grumbling to himself, he went back to work. A few minutes later, his stomach started growling. He ignored it. His stomach growled louder. He furrowed his brow and kept working. Finally, the yowls and bellows of anguish from his stomach caused him to close down his computer and head to the cafeteria for lunch.

"I'm going to get a Manwich," he thought to himself excitedly as he walked quickly down the hallway. "A sandwich stuffed with turkey and cheese with just the right touch of mustard--it'll be so good!"

His mouth watering, he watched as the cafeteria lady made his sandwich and placed it in a Styrofoam container. He picked up some chips and headed for a table. Sighing contently, he opened the Styrofoam container and picked up his sandwich. Right as he began to take a bite, a small head burst out between layers of the folded turkey.

"STOP!" the small head squealed. Ben jerked his hands back and stared at his sandwich. A small red head with black swiveling antennas was staring at him disapprovingly. As he watched in horror, the bug crawled out of his sandwich and flew to the table.

"You were going to eat me!" the bug accused.

"No," Ben corrected, "I was going to eat my sandwich. It's not my fault you were in my sandwich." Grossed out, he sighed and put the sandwich down. "I just wanted my Manwich," he muttered to himself. "I can't even eat a damn sandwich without a bug ruining it."

"Well excusssssssssssseeeeeeeeeee me," the bug snapped, glaring back at Ben. "You're just the most mistreated person ever."

"You were in my sandwich!" Ben cried before lowering his voice. "Do you know how gross that is?" The bug sighed and rolled his eyes. "Look at the seat next to you," he said. Ben looked to the seat next to him and saw a Styrofoam container. "There's your sandwich," the bug said. "Eat that."

Ben stared at the box warily. "Huh?" he asked inelegantly. "What are you talking about?"

"I switched the boxes while you were getting napkins," the bug said impatiently. "It wasn't your real sandwich. I just wanted to make a dramatic entrance."

"And who would you be?" Ben asked, warily feeling like he already knew.

"I'm the SMUG!" the bug bellowed happily. "I'm the Scarlett Moth-eating Unbalanced Giant."

"You're not a giant," Ben said, peering down at the tiny insect. "And you don't eat moths. You're smaller than them."

"How do you know I don't magically grow and consume them whole?" the SMUG asked coyly.

"How can you eat something bigger than you?" Ben asked.

"You eat a cow and that's bigger than you," the SMUG said.

"True," Ben admitted.

"Besides," the SMUG said, grinning. "Moths are quite delicate and shatter whenever you touch them into a clumpy powder. They taste like chocolate, actually. You should try one sometime."

At Ben's disgusted look, the SMUG rolled his eyes. "Fine," the SMUG sighed. "I'll tell you what I'm supposed to tell you."

"What is that?" Ben asked as he ate his sandwich. The SMUG flew to the tip of his nose and stood dramatically, his antennas going everywhere. "Cheese," he said, nodding his head.

"Cheese?" Ben sputtered. "What does that mean?"

"It means cheese," the SMUG said decisively. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some moths to eat."

As Ben ate his sandwich, he wondered if he would ever learn what was going on.

To be continued..............