The theatre, the theatre, what's happened to the theatre?

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" Cookies bellowed, sweeping his imaginary top hat in front of him. "Boys and Girls! I present to you, the one, the only, Owlorfico!" Cookies disappeared behind the blanket he had hung between the spa doorway.

The seals applauded enthusiastically. Hairy applauded politely. Pumble clapped once and yawned.

"I delayed snacktime for this?" he muttered. "Be polite," Hairy admonished. "He's worked hard on this all weekend."

The blanket rose, and Cookies strode dramatically into the room. He looked beyond his audience, squinting into the horizon.

"Hawk, who goes there?" he yelled in a loud voice. "But it is a raven. For if a rose had any other name, it would be as sweet. Out, out damned spot! Be gone from my sight for eternity. Boil, boil, toil and trouble. If thoust were to simply whisper, nay utter they name, it would forever linger on my lips, sweeter than the ripest peach--"

"What is this?" Pumble asked in horror. "He's gone and mixed up half a dozen Shakespearean plays."

"Shhhh," Hairy hushed him, as he tried to figure out what the devil Cookies was doing.

"To be or not to be!" Cookies bellowed in an attempt at a deep baritone. "O Romeo, Romeo, where for art thy Romeo? This above all, to thy own self be true! The lady doth protest too much, me thinks. All the world is a stage, the men and women merely players. The fool doth think he wise, but a wise man know himself to be a fool."

Cookies than staggered dramatically across the stage, holding a broken doll and speaking lovingly to it. "It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say goodnight until it be the morrow."

With that, Cookies bowed his head and the curtain fell.

Uncertainly, the seals clapped their flippers. Politely, Hairy clapped. Pumble looked at the stage in confusion.

"What the devil kind of play was that?" he yelled. "I have no idea what it was."

Huffily, Cookies strode through the closed curtain, throwing his cloak to the side dramatically.

"That was true theatre!" he bellowed.

"That was crap!"

"That was true theatre and culture!" Cookies retorted. "You wouldn't know culture if it bit you in the face."

"That was a mish-mash of quotes!"

"That was the brilliance of Shakespeare!" Cookies flung his arms out dramatically. "So sorry it wasn't printed on the side of a cereal box for your understanding."

"I could do a better play than that!" Pumble bragged. "I could do better than a bunch of quotes."

"You want to bet on that?" Cookies said angrily.

"Yea, I do!" Pumble said. "Winner is declared a true actor! An authentic member of the theatre!"

"You're on!" Cookies said, narrowing his eyes. "Hairy and the seals will judge."

"Fine!" Pumble snapped, stalking off the other direction.

"Fine!" Cookies said, not to be outdone. He stalked off the other direction.

Hairy and the seals remained in their seats, looking at each other. Hairy sighed. "The theatre, the theatre," he said, shaking his head. "What's happening to the theatre?"