Monday, March 03, 2008

Chaos in the Land of the Flowered Bed

As of midnight on Friday night, all hell had broken loose in the Land of the Flowered Bed. As mayor, Hairy had dearly hoped for some peace. Alas, Hairy's hopes were in vain. Two tiny, yet adorable, creatures had invaded the Land of the Flowered Bed and taken over the premises.

"There's RATS! There's RATS in our SPA!" the first duck screamed, flapping his wings and terrifying all the animals. They were hiding in the closet, praying one of the tiny creatures wouldn't find them.

"They're everywhere!" the second duck shouted, hunkering down in the bathtub. "Save us! Save us!"

"I heard they can rip a toilet paper roll to shreds," the third duck whispered, lying as flat as he could to the bottom of the tub. The other two ducks continued to flap their wings in a panicked frenzy.

"Is that true?" Pumble asked Hairy, his eyes wide. "Can they really rip us to shreds?"

"Of course they can't," Cookies responded automatically. When he saw Pumble exhale with relief, he gave him a wicked grin and added, "They simply chew you to death with tiny teeth that stab you like a million needles."

Pumble shoveled chips into his mouth, his head daring around nervously. "They can't get in here, right?"

"Right now," Cookies said with a evil smile. "But overnight, their teeth grow so they're six inches long with three rows. When that happens, they can bite through this door like a cracker." Pumble shrieked and began to pour the box of chips down his throat. The seals squealed in terror and huddled under puddle, covering their heads with their flippers and shivering.

"Oh for God's sakes," Hairy said, rolling his eyes. "Cookies, quit making stuff up. They're dogs. Not man eating-door-crushing demons."

"That's how much you know," Cookies muttered with a sly grin at Pumble. The seals quivered as Pumble bit into a cinnamon roll.

Hairy rolled his eyes and walked to the door.

"Where are you going?" Pumble squealed. "You can't go out there!"

"I want to see what all the fuss is about," Hairy said. "As mayor, it's my job to keep peace in this town."

"You'll die!" Pumble howled. "You'll die and Cookies will be mayor and we'll all go crazy because he's bossy and mean!"

"Hey!" Cookies scowled. "I am not!"

"I'll be right back," Hairy promised. He slid out the door and shut it firmly behind him before they could protest. With a lump in his throat, Hairy crept towards the closed bathroom door. He listened at the edge. Nothing. Taking a deep breath, he gently pushed the door open and squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation of the rabid howls and sharp fangs.

Instead, he heard two tiny feet patter towards him. Cracking one eye open, he reached out his hand and felt two tiny tongues licking his hand. Two of the smallest and cutest puppies were licking his hands, tails wagging a million miles an hour. Hairy began to giggle. The ducks in the spa heard him, and one popped his head over to investigate the noise.

"What are you laughing about?" he demanded.

"What is your deal?" the second duck demanded. "This is an emergency situation!"

"They really are kind of cute, aren't they?" the third duck murmured. The other two ducks glared at him.

"This is what you were afraid of?" Hairy asked, petting the two wiggling creatures. "These are just puppies!"

"With long fangs!" he heard Cookies shout behind the doorway. Hairy just rolled his eyes and cracked open the door. The seals were delighted to see the puppies and hopped over to them, rolling all over the floor with them. Pumble was licked from head to toe, giggling the entire time. Cookies received a polite but disinterested sniff.

"So should we make them citizens?" Hairy asked as he rubbed Bitty's belly.

"I think it's only right," Pumble replied as Bear gently chewed on his sock. The seals clapped their fins and chortles, the ducks from the Spa yelled their assent. Cookies rolled his eyes.

"Whatever," he muttered. "They were a lot cooler when they could eat a door with their fangs."

Hairy grinned and rubbed Bear's head. Perhaps for awhile, there would be peace.

Then again, this was the Land of the Flowered Bed.

3 comments:

Mom said...

wonderful. Now, this, should be a book. It would be great.

Marie said...

I have come back and read this several times and also read it to my Todd. The first time I read it I was sitting here with a soppy smile on my face. This is really good Ducky! Why you don't have a publishing contract is beyond my understanding. You, of all people, surely deserve one. You are a very talented writer. I just love Bitty and Bear. I have fallen in love with them! They are so cute! Looking foward to further adventures from the land of the flowered bed!!

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